Navigating Grief after Loss Care Package

What to Write in a Sympathy Card When Someone Has Been Through a Bereavement

January 20, 2026

It’s not unusual to overthink what to write in a sympathy card to a friend, loved one, or colleague. When you know someone who has been through a recent loss it can feel especially hard to know what words are right. If you’re worrying you’ll write the wrong thing, then worry not, this blog is a good place to start. The most important thing to remember when you want to know what to write in a sympathy card, but you’re scared of sounding insensitive, is that sending your sympathies, no matter how short, is the most important thing of all. That’s because sending condolences is an important part of connecting with someone in their grief. So remember, writing something simple and short is better than sending nothing at all.

Many people choose to send a sympathy card alongside a thoughtful bereavement care package, as it offers comfort that lasts beyond the first few days and helps express care when words feel limited.

So when asking the question ‘what to write in a sympathy card’ online… don’t feel bad, because the fact you are asking shows you care. And if we’re honest, the fact of the matter is that grief and loss can make most of us lost for words.

At Brown Paper Packages we believe that the words don’t have to be perfect, they just need to be kind. That’s why we’re here with 3 simple steps, to help you write something that feels genuine, caring, and human. Something that feels like it’s come from you and not from a sympathy card or Chat GBT!

Step 1: Keep it simple

When someone is grieving, long messages aren’t expected. A short, heartfelt note can be just as meaningful as a lengthy message explaining why things happen.

It’s okay to write just one or two sentences. Try to be kind, honest, and gentle. Simple words like these are often included in sympathy cards that accompany comfort gifts, offering both emotional support and a gentle reminder that someone is thinking of them during a difficult time.

Simple things you can say (that are enough)

If you’re stuck, these are all perfectly good things to write:

“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Thinking of you and sending so much love.”
“I don’t know what to say, but I wanted you to know I care.”
“I’m holding you in my thoughts.”

These might feel a little short, but to someone who’s grieving, they’re a reminder that they’re not alone. And that matters more than clever wording.

Step 2. If you knew the person who has died

If you knew the person they’ve lost, mentioning them by name can feel incredibly comforting. It shows that they mattered and that they are remembered.

You could say:

“I was so sorry to hear about John. He was such a kind man.”
“I’ll always remember Mary’s laugh – she lit up the room.”

You don’t need a long, drawn-out story. Just a gentle acknowledgement or memory is enough.

Step 3. If you want to offer support (without the pressure)

Lots of people write “let me know if you need anything” – and it’s well meant, but in grief, people often don’t have the energy to ask.

If you can, make it softer or more specific:

“I’m here whenever you need – even if it’s just for a brew.”
“No pressure at all, but I’m only a message away.”
“I’ll check in on you over the next few weeks.”

This reassures them that support isn’t time-limited and doesn’t come with expectations.

What to avoid writing (even if it’s well meant)

Some phrases are commonly used, but can land badly when someone is grieving. It’s best to gently steer clear of:

“They’re in a better place.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“At least they lived a long life.”
“Be strong.”

These can unintentionally minimise someone’s pain or make them feel like they should be coping better than they are.

Also, avoid giving advice, timelines, or comparisons. Grief is personal, and there’s no “right” way to do it.

Choosing what not to say is similar to choosing what not to include in a bereavement care package — gentle, thoughtful choices often bring the most comfort.

If you’re really struggling with what to say

It’s absolutely okay to admit that you don’t know what to write.

Something like:

“I don’t have the right words, but I wanted you to know I’m thinking of you and sending love.”

This kind of honesty often feels more comforting than polished sympathy messages.

A note about tone

You don’t need to sound formal. You don’t need to sound profound. Write your sympathy message as if they were sitting opposite you with cup of tea. This will feel more human, warm, and meaningful, which is what people remember.

The most important thing

A sympathy card won’t take the pain away, but it can remind someone they’re cared for. Even a few simple words can bring comfort on a hard day. So if you’re hesitating because you’re still worried about saying the wrong thing, try to remember this: saying nothing is worse than a simple ‘I’m sorry for your loss’.

Many people find that pairing a few kind words with a sympathy care package helps provide ongoing comfort in the weeks following a loss.

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